No Socks

Apparently when I go to an interview, I don't like to wear socks. In March, I interviewed for a Young Life Staff position in Kansas. As I was getting ready to leave for the interview I realized that my only pair of dress socks had been ruined in a not so sober walk home from a wedding. Freaking out I opted to not wear socks. Unfortunately, my interview was at someone's home and most people took off their shoes before entering the house. I was already nervous about this interview but I couldn't go in bare foot. I broke the mold and kept my shoes on only to be called out by my Area Director, Wendy, during my interview with her. I pretended like I just couldn't find them; confessing to my poor decisions surrounding the last time I wore those socks was out of the question. Needless to say, I was not hired and I've been getting crap for this since then.

Fast forward to today.

I had a follow up interview with Parker/Franktown Young Life. It was a little short notice but I was told that I would be interviewed by some of the committee and some leaders. I was ready for it but in my honesty, I emailed the person who contacted me and said "I also have an irrational fear of being over/under dressed so I am awkwardly going to ask how formal this interview is ." She emailed back and told me it was pretty casual and I should be comfortable in pretty much anything. I went with jeans, a button up, and flip-flops. I know, I know, I didn't wear socks again. The last thing my mom told me before I left was "I would wear shoes." Not wishing me good luck or reassuring my talents but critiquing my wardrobe.

As I drove to the interview I became overwhelmed with emotion. For the first time I felt truly independent from the relationships I have formed through YL. Wendy wasn't going to hold my hand through this interview and no one knew me so there wasn't anyone to fall back onto if I didn't present myself clear enough. It was just me in a room full of committee and leaders ready to see if I had what it takes to be their Area Director. The interview flowed from an overview of the area to me sharing who I am and where I came from then finished with an hour or so of questions. I walked away from the interview feeling really good about it. Just truly at peace with what had just happened. I will continue to pray that the area makes a decision that will be best for them and if thats me, great, if not, I'm OK with it (jokingly I will blame it on my lack of socks).

For the last few months of my life, I have been learning how to trust that the Lord has a perfect will for me. Trying to live in trust has not been easy, sometimes I just want clarity. I want to know what is next for me I want my life mapped out in front of me so I don't have to worry about making the right or wrong decision.

Tonight at Bible study we ended our time sharing one word that describes our soul. When it came around to my turn, I smiled and just said "trusting."