Sorry, just got done with club and I'm still in that mood. We had an awesome halloween club where almost all the kids dressed up. I wasn't sure what to be but I have come to find that putting together a last minute costume is much easier with access to my parents closet. The clear choice was for me to be a nerd.
Everything was going fine then the old area director showed up unannounced. I didn't know what to do so I just played it cool and welcomed him and his family but on the inside I had the all too familiar sense of insecurity filling me. On some level I felt like I was being judged and was nervous that my additions to club would be seen as lame and unnecessary. I distinctly remember watching their reactions to things instead of enjoying club fully. I mean at one point during the game I found myself laughing because two boys fell over from spinning too much only to see looks of concern on their faces. Did I do something wrong? Was my game too aggressive? Am I even a good leader?
I had to talk myself down the rest of the evening and after club the old ad told me I did a good job. I think he was telling the truth and appreciated his affirmation. I'm not mad or bitter that he was there, in fact I understand his desire to see club.
There are still days that I miss shawnee mission and specifically the guys at northwest. Every now and then one of them will write on my facebook wall. It makes my day, ever time. If I were close by, dropping in on club would be a must.
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